a week

i had a week:

1) becca is in town
she still make me anxious, giddy, tongue-tied and loopy. fool! i'm a fool!

2) phone bill? over $500
'nuff said

3) i seriously thought i was gonna get fired.
my direct supervisor wouldn't really look at me last week, and only answered my questions with "yes," "no," or "you'll have to ask [insert name here]." fine. nothing too strange about that, right? thursday, i scheduled a meeting with her for friday morning at 10am to talk about my work progress, what i can improve, etc. between 8 and 10 on friday, she met with all the other admins i've been working with and the two people i support right now. behind closed doors! i just *knew* i was gonna get fired/let go. so knots that were in my stomach for reasons number 1 and 2 were multiplied by this. it didn't help that none of these people would look at me after their meetings.

we had a closed door meeting and i was mentally prepared. she told me what i needed to improve on: time management and confidence. hmph. i can do that. this job is truly overwhelming and no one was kidding when the warned me about the year learning curve. and then she told me that everyone i worked with really liked me. hmph. so it was all okay.

i'm struggling because i thought i could read people, but i just can't read this person. which seems to be a more common refrain these days.